Friday, December 4, 2009

seeking employment

so, as it turns out, i never received the internship position with tanner young publishing.

but, through the connections i made during my summer internship, i have started my career as a freelance writer. i've teamed up with a graphic designer who's throwing my name at every client he knows needs a writer. things are getting moving, but both my schedule and my piggy bank aren't as full as they should be. oh, the woes of a recovering student.

i've been applying for jobs left and right these days, and i've gotten a number of responses. last week i applied for a job as a part time nanny, and the couple contacted me quickly. we spoke on the phone this monday and arranged for me to come over to meet them and the baby on wednesday afternoon. i arrived and found the couple agreeable, friendly, and the baby ridiculously adorable. he's seven months old and has the widest smile. so cute. we sat and visited and the baby warmed up to me. he came and sat on my lap and pulled my hair and laughed. we were getting along swimmingly and i was sure i was making a good impression on mom and dad. the mom started told me there was something they wanted to discuss with me, and started talking about their childs potty habits. he doesn't wear a diaper. at seven months old, they are attempting to potty train the kid. i know i'm not a baby genius, but isn't it a little early to completely subtract the diaper from the whole equation? its like sending an amateur skydiver out of the plane without instruction on how to use his 'chute. accidents happen.

all of this is running through my mind, while i'm holding the baby and he's yanking my hair (maybe this is why all mothers cut their hair short...). as the mother is finishing the info session on baby communication and how they're trying to teach theirs to learn to tell them he has to use the bathroom from an early age, my leg starts to feel warm. not like, warm & fuzzy-i-love-this-baby-and-want-to-be-his-nanny warm, but like, warm. as discreetly as possible, i tried to maneuver the baby into a position where i'd be able to investigate the situation without making the parents think i'm totally grossed out by holding a baby that doesn't wear a diaper. (side note: it doesn't gross me out. kudos to the family for doing their part to eliminate a pile of disposables the size of a comfortable four bedroom house in a landfill somewhere. really.) the mom mentioned that yes, of course, sometimes he pees his pants, but they have lots of pairs of pants for him. excellent. just then, the mom finishes up her spiel and baby lunges off my lap and toward her.

and there it is.

a big wet mark on my jeans. 
right where the baby was sitting.

i tried to make the discovery as un-awkward as possible, and laughed as i pointed out the evidence on my pant leg. i said, "oh, i think he peed on me."

talk about an awkward situation, turned hilarious.

the dad exclaimed, "well, i guess he likes you! he's marking his territory."

i really did like the kid. and the parents. 

but i have to say, its the first time i've been peed on during an interview. 


mjhenrie said...

funniest last sentence EVER.

Thank goodness you haven't been peed on during any other interview!!

Thanks for the special note re: the new posting. I feel privileged! Ask and ye shall receive!

love you

Sandra Goetz said...

Hee hee hee.

Looks like you ran in to a family who practices EC - Elimination Communication (oh yes, it's actually called that) LOL.

Happy job hunting! ; )

Laura O'Hearon said...

k, so did you get the job with them? I'm confused haha

ec said...

hilarious. i was thinking about this last night, waaayyyy after you told me about it on the phone and started laughing to myself.

it sounds so good written down.

yer funi.

p.s. word verification is sistra. coincidence? i think not;)

Kristi said...

Wow. What a tale! I'm sure you'll be telling that for a while. I can't believe they think they can potty train their kid that young!
I hope you find a job soon!

Ashley said...

That is awesome! Ha! Good luck in your job hunt and may the rest of your interviews be pee-less.

Darren R. said...

Nice write up. Hope you get the job after that one!

Butchike Bunch said...

That is hysterical! Lauren you write so well! We need to get together soon... I promise Joviah wont pee on you!